Learning to live in a society

Our today’s guest doesn’t know much about his roots. You see, he was born in a good family but lost both of his parents very young. He lived with his second aunts and uncles in small towns of the European part of Russia. It’s believed that his mother died in childbirth and his father from a sickness a few years later.

Lev remembers little of his early years. He was a timid child and his relatives were overbearing due to his health condition. Most of his life Lev suffered from temporal lobe epilepsy. The family expected him to die at a young age but as he successfully reached his twentieth birthday they raised money to send him to a specialised clinic in Switzerland (in Canton of Graubünden). There, he underwent treatment, lived, and studied. It must be nice to spend a couple of years in the majestic landscape of the Swiss Alps, but let’s ask him personally.

A note for the reader. Today, we intend to play a practical joke on our guest by asking him the most idiotic questions we can come up with.

‘Hi, Lev. Could you shortly introduce yourself to our readers?’

‘Good day. I’m honored to speak to such a cultured audience. My name is Lev. I was born in Russia and spent four years in Switzerland before returning home. Not sure if I can tell many interesting stories about myself. My sickness built a wall of noncomprehension between me and the other. I’m usually treated as an invalid, even on my good days. (He paused.) I wish we had the same candid eyes as children do. That foremost we saw human souls in each other, before the gender, age, and social status. We think them [children] naive and inexperienced. When they just didn’t yet give up in trying to understand the deep meaning of words: love, honor, suffering, regret, forgiveness. I learned a lot from them, watching how they run home from school, discovering a flower here and jumping over a brook there. Pure joy of being alive. 

‘But what can I really say about myself? I’m someone who’s learning how to live in a society.’

‘Do you mean the society of your hometown or do you refer to the time you were in emigration?’

‘Those are equally difficult things for me. Abroad, I longed to return, to speak my mother tongue, to reconnect with the remains of my family. But my Uncle, who was also my patron, died while I was away and the rest of my family didn’t want to know me. Because my possessions at the time of return consisted of debts only.’

‘Can you say that the time abroad spoiled you for living in Russia? Like a zoo animal is unable to hunt in the wilderness.’

‘I might just as well be that poor animal. (Laughed.) But you shouldn’t judge them: nor animals, nor people. I’ve heard a story in the restaurant car on a train about two fellows. They knew each other for many years, lived in the same village, and worked at the same shop. One night, one of them saw a nice silver pocket watch that the other had. The fellows slept under the same roof that night before going back to work in the morning. Our character waited till his friend fell asleep and stabbed him with a knife. The murderer was brought in front of a judge and declared his deeds with not a sign of regret. His lawyer claimed that it was only natural to feel envy. Is he a human? And his lawyer? A wild animal won’t kill another for a silver watch. You called me a zoo specimen. I’d rather be that. Doctor Schwarts says we must be realistic about our aims in life and admit our possibilities and limitations.’

‘Do you admit yours? How is your health today?’

‘I do. I was severely ill. Doctor Schwarts did everything to cure me. It wasn’t a total success though. My illness abated but it can and probably will return. What is it today?

I haven't had a seizure in about a year and my mind is clear as spring water.’

‘What are you going to do now? Especially with your debts and no money?’

‘I hope to find a job as a home teacher. I wish to give lessons to middle school children. It isn’t urgent though because I’ve got a paper from the lawyer that I inherited a considerable capital from an aunt. That should be enough to live by.’

‘Congratulations on another happy escape from poverty. Do you have plans to get married? You are a hot twenty-five year-old bachelor now.’

‘Haha. No. (Became serious.) I don’t think that a young lady would be glad to spend her life with me. She will become a nurse when my illness returns. That’s no happy future.’

‘But if you fall in love? Can that be? We cannot control our hearts, let alone fate.’

‘I don’t think I can love someone as a man loves a woman. 

I kissed Marie once but it was different. (He looked out the window as if expecting to see her.) She lived in our village with her old ill mother. They were very poor: never had decent clothes and enough to eat. The neighbours pitied them and gave bread and cheese in turns. But things changed after an incident. A flamboyant traveler stayed at our inn for a few days. When going away, he invited Marie to go with him. And for some time after we haven’t seen either of them. The villagers condemned Marie for leaving her sick mother behind. The old woman was very weak and dying. The same winter poor Marie came back. Apparently, the traveler dropped her on a road with no money and barefoot. The village welcomed her with harsh words, her mother refused to let her in the house. Children followed her around yelling obscenities and throwing rocks. That was when I stood between them and the silent woman that suffered so much. I tried to explain that Marie didn’t deserve punishment. The children didn’t listen to me at first. But then one day they saw me kissing Marie and they believed we were in love. I didn’t want to disappoint them. I’m glad of this little misconception, if that helped the children to understand love and compassion towards a soul in pain. After that day, the kids changed. They brought Marie food and small gifts like flowers. She was so touched she cried every time. Unfortunately, that winter she became severely ill with tuberculosis and lived only a few weeks into the spring. When she died, the children filled the whole coffin with flowers. They wanted to carry it themselves too. No one could have held them back. And the whole village came to say goodbye to Marie.

That was one time I kissed a woman. I don’t think I should get ahead of myself. Finding a place among the people I happen to live today is what I need. Maybe I can be helpful to somebody like my Uncle was to me.’

After these words Lev became pensive and absent-minded. He sat there with his half-empty cup of tea either day-dreaming, or silently talking to someone. 

Journeying inside I could never play outside with other kids Our guest of the day doesn’t know much about his rooIs Lev a real person or a fictional character?

• He is real
• He is fictional